The Truth About Children & Childcare

A Response to Elizabeth Wurtzel

First read: http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2012/06/1-wives-are-helping-kill-feminism-and-make-the-war-on-women-possible/258431/

Now, you probably have steam pouring from your ears, but read on... there is comfort in the truth.

First, my credentials to join the conversation: 

1. born in 1950, a member of the first generation to fully benefit from the work of the 60's feminists;
2. B.A., cum laude, Philosophy (loved it);
3. joined the jazz/rock band culture (loved it until death by drugs seemed likely);
4. J.D., cum laude (loved it though I'm apparently the only person on earth who actually enjoyed law school);
5. worked as an assistant attorney general, tax court hearing examiner, and country lawyer;
6. stayed at home for at least 3 to 4 years caring for my children;
7. taught middle school band and music;
8. co-produced an Emmy award winning children's television show in the 90's (It's Kindertime, ABC affiliate WMAR TV-2 Baltimore); and,
9. to this day work as a children's entertainer.

One day, in the midst of stage 5 above and after I had given birth to my first child (1982), I had an epiphany. Up until that point I thought that I read and loved philosophy, played and loved music, worked and loved the law, because of some inherent brilliance in my mind that was attracted to those "higher"pursuits. But, on that insightful day I realized, "No! We do all of these things, architecture, law, engineering, teaching, philosophy, military training, etc., so that we can build a society stable enough to... to... have and raise children!!!"

This is what all species do. This is the ultimate goal: preservation of the species. It's a very clever design nature came up with. We love to be industrious; we love mental stimulation; we especially love to think of ourselves as insightful and clever. And, what is the end result? Society! A place where people live and reproduce... 'cuz you and I know we won't be here forever.

So, because I think that is true, and pretty self-evidently so, I conclude that the job of raising, teaching, and caring for children is the single most important job in the world, and dismiss Elizabeth Wurtzel's conclusion that "A job that anyone can have is not a job, it's part of life, no matter how important people insist it is (all the insisting is itself overcompensation)."

I agree that stay-at-home-mothering is not a job in the normal sense of things. Rather, I argue that it's a "meta-job"! It is, along with teaching, care giving, babysitting, and all other childcare related positions, the foundation of all other jobs and professions. It's not just "part of life," it "is life." Every one of us who ever lived had a care-giver. It's simply one of those paradoxes. The most important job in the world, is also the one that almost anyone can have.

One more quasi philosophical/mathematical point to make. Do you remember the tangent curve? The one that starts at negative infinity and, as it approaches the number "one" on the x axis, soars up to positive infinity and then on the other side of "one" appears at negative infinity again? Have you ever heard the idea that selflessness is the most selfish gift you can gift? Paradoxes abound, and the importance of the "non-job-childcare-job" is simply one of them. Yes, anyone can do it, and yet it's the most essential job I can think of. Some get paid for it, others barter, but if they went on strike...well...you see my point.

Silly Goose & Val, but mostly Val today